Or you know, not. I was only out east, visiting my aunt and uncle and their two girls. On the 26th we had a giant family dinner with everyone, including my aunt's boyfriend. It was rather  fun, loads of good food and company.

In the car on the way back I ended up doing a lot of thinking. There is this one rant that has been on my mind for months now. It is about religion. Oh joy. I think I might type it up tomorrow and see if it makes sense.

Oh and I also finished Innocent Mage by Karen Miller. It is real fun and rather interesting. Think I just got a new favorite pairing ever to go with all of my other ones.

And I am waiting for another summer to end. that restless time only a few hours before you leave. All packed up, nothing left to do except charge your cell and your ipod. I think about the things that I have done this summer. The times I laughed (so so many), the times I cried (tears never tasted so bitter.All the words written. I had a very nice time doing it all, and it made me stronger. I've never enjoyed work so much like I did this summer. There was rarely a day I did not want to go into the little white house. I laughed so much this summer, at work, with My Lady, with my mother. I seen some of the most beautiful sights, my niece smiling at me, the puppy accepting me on the spot, I have enjoyed the warm closeness of someone I love when I wake up in the morning. I have gained new friends and proven to myself I could do something I thought I didn't. I've been sitting in the car with my family, all of us singing along to a song on the radio. I have seen two people I belive are a match made in heaven get together. This summer I lived.

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
-Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield


It is moments like this I realize I have lived an extrodionary life and confinue to do so. In many ways I truly belive I have been blessed. I have gotten to see so much and there is so much left to see. I've been given so much knowledge and the oppertunity to do something with it. People keep believing in me. They tell me I am doing great and that I am doing the right thing. And for once I do believe them. As a child I had one fear that overshadowed all others. The fear of becomming normal. I did not what that I wanted an adventure and I am glad to say I have gotten it. Several in fact. In Flekke we had all this talk about UWC being a way out for so many of us, especially the poorer ones. But as one of the richer ones I have to say it applied to me too. Without it I would never have known the great people I do, I would never have traveled a quarter of the way across the world to study. I have been blessed with so many wonderful people in my life, people who see things differently than I do and invite me into their lives and let me see the world like they do, and every year I continue to meet more and more of them. My life have been far from dull and gray, in stead it has been filled with all the colors of the world. I have seen I have felt I have tasted and lived.

It is strange to think that five years ago I was sitting there with a rope in my hand, wondering if I knew how to tie the knot I needed to end it all.  Five years ago I cried myself to sleep more often than not. I hated the place I lived and the people here and I didn't see a reason to continue on. Then I was given the way out of that destructive hole I was in. I needed to get out and away from the people that affected me so. Now I only see them a few times a year and that is enough.

Now, only half a decade later I am a changed woman. And yes I call myself a woman now. I have seen the world as I said and I have gained things to live for. Reasons to hang on. I am not afraid of death. I don't think I'll ever be. I have accepted death as a part of life, with out death there can be no life, because how can you enjoy it all if you know you can have it forever? I won't run from death when it comes for me. I'll be happy I got to see what I did. But until then I have so much more to see and taste and smell and read and enjoy.

Do me all a favor, close your eyes and listen to the song Unwritten by Natasha Bedingsfield. Take a moment to let the words wash in over you. Open your eyes and take a deep breath. Taste life. There is something to live for, life itself.

Men, sometimes I swear that there is too many of them in my life already.

Today it is one of those days, feels like they (my dad and brother) do not give a flying fuck (I know this is not true, but it is still annoying).

1. Yesterday my parents asked my brother and I to clean of the table and make coffee and tea. I cleaned of the table, left the pots (they just had to be put in the dishwasher) and coffee and tea making for my brother. The pots were not fixed until I fixed them half an hour ago. What have my brother been doing in the mean time? Playing computer games. (Now I am a huge fan of games too, but not when they render you incapable of helping out)
2. We had chips today, that me and my mother bought. My mother made the dip and prepared everything and she and I sit down with it, when we've had it for a minute or two my dad starts whinning about it.
3. My brother is very very bad about interupting and it annoys me to no end
4. You know who make coffee when I am home? Me or my mother (who doesn't even drink it). Dad and Brother ignore it when we ask them to, and they drink as much as I do or (and this is mostly my dad) made the instant stuff, which takes about as long to make and he knows I hate. But when I make it, guess who drinks it.
5.The comments they make. Both to me and my mother. Very fucking annoying.

I know this came out very rant like, and you will probably think I have nothing to really complain about. Which I don't. I am just irritated at them at the moment.

This should probably be more than one post but..



I am starting to really look forward to going home. Will be very nice to see my family again and relax, I can not believe I have not been home since early Jan. Wow. That is over 7 months. I saw my family for a week over easter when they came here. But I have not seem my sister or the spawn, my grandmother,  the dog, cat or horses in all that time. Most of my family I have not seen in a year. I kind of would like to talk to my uncle about the choice to switch to computer science. I know it is not something I will go back on, but his opinion really matter to me.

Talking about Sister and Spawn. The Spawn have been christned. How do I know this? My mom ranted to me on the phone. I am the child's aunt, me and my brother make up half of the child's aunt and uncles. You think my sister had the decency to give me a call or send a post card or maybe even an email, telling me it was happening? Nope. I officially don't know. Mom and I talked about this. I think I will pick up something somewhere, not sure what though (need to talk to mom about that too), so that I have a gift when my sister tells me. That I can deliver with a "Oh, really? That is great!  I only wish I had known so my gift could have arrived on the day." My sister is smart. She understands sarcasm. Not only did she not tell me, no-one else on our side of the family knew. Not my mother until teh day my sister left (she did it up in the north with her father, which I guess is fine), none of the aunts and uncles or my grandfather. This is his first great grand child. Now my close family are not all that big on christenings but it really matters to some of my aunts and uncles. Why the fuck is my sister ruining this child's realationship with her family before she is even one year old?

In more happy news, I found somewhere new I want to work next summer. CERN. Yes. Want to work there. They have a summer student program that had me really exited. My Boss read about it too and agreed with me. I will send in an application as soon as they open the aplications. I'll be working in Switzerland or France (eek, with my French? Bonjour? Qui? Un coffe, sil vous plait). But yes, I really want to go. Never been to either....Oh... If I go to France, I might end up being there during le tour. Squeee!

As for the character I posted about, I came up with something and I really like her. Though she has potential to be a Mary Sue, have to be careful about that. Then again, maybe not. Depends on what side of her I play up. Also I trust my friends to tell me if I start straying into Sue land.I will probably give her her own post at some point. Let's just say, at this point it is too much Devil May Cry, Dirge of Cerberus, Trigun and classic rock that is influencing me. And you know me. I like screwed up characters.

Also my chain arrived yesterday, part of it was brother's b-day gift. I got him 2 lb Galvanized steel rings for making chainmaile with, I made sure it was armor strength stuff as he is planning on doing more real weapons and not boffing stuff. Bare Steel as we call it. I am also pretty sure it was galvanzised I got him for the coif. Come to think of it, I need to make my coif too... I also got stuff for myself. Will take pictures when I get home and start making stuff. Bronze, yellow brass and copper. Pretty colors.

Oh I love it when I can make my titles all start with the same letter.

First of all, small note:
Dear ...
Just a little warning note, I do not appriciate being snapped at first thing in the morning. If I had been slightly more awake, I would have had a nasty reply. Just keep that in mind for next time you snap at me.
Thanks
-Me

It is sunny and nice. I like this, just wish that I didn't have to spend so much time inside so I could go out and enjoy. According to the forcast today might be the last day of it. You know what, I think I'll not go to lab. Instead head outside with a book of some kind. I have two options. Sweeny Todd or some fantasy I picked up, it looked a little like Discworld. I went on a book shopping high this spring break. Ok. Between 4 and dinner time you can find me in the garden with a book. If people have time and want to come and chill with me, feel free. Sun makes me feel good. Makes me relax and enjoy life a little. Now Claire and I are planning to eat lunch on Chapin lawn. Going to be nice...

My brother got into his first choice at UWC, Wales. I am so proud of him. I am so going visiting him next fall or spring. Either thanksgiving or J-term. The school he is going to is 25 west of Cardiff and in a 12th centry castle that is supposedly one of the most haunted places in Wales. If you are curios about the school look at these promo vids. They are really cool. I am really envious of him. I wanted to get into Atlantic too. I am happy I went to Flekke but... Yeah..

Ok, this is not as early as I was up yesterday, about an hour later infact. My family haven't called yet either. I got up, showered, ate bannanas for breakfast, made coffee, sent some emails regarding conbust panels I am running (btw. Mel? Am I still on the girls in gaming panel? My game is scheduled at the same time), did my UD actions for now.

Yesterday was nice and chill. My parents called me at 8.30, but I was half awake already, Claire was fussing about and getting ready to leave. So my dad called and even though I had been planning on a nap after Claire left that was not happening. He sounded so exited I could not bring myself to say 'can I meet you later?'. So about an hour later I met them, we went grocery shopping. I needed milk and various other things. Then we went to Woodstar where we ran into Claire and her parents. We had the whole awkward girlfriend meet family, family meet girlfriend's family. But our mothers talked a bit about knitting and seemed to like each other. My dad still have a little issue with catching up with the speed at which people talk. But he is doing great. We had some really good sandwiches there and my brother is now a mocha lover. After that we went to the bulb show, my family loved it, thought it was an amazing botantic garden, which it is. Then I gave them the quick tour of campus, showed them every thing  but didn't go in anywhere. My dad was amazed that the builders at Ford Hall work at Saturdays. I had to explain that yes they do. Then we went to webs, where I managed to spend a hundred bucks. Bought yarn for a new project. You know that nice green vest I have? Yeah, one in blue. As well as more yarn for my torchwood scarf, and wool and stuff for spinning. My mom apperently knows this, and is going to teach me. My list of cool crafts will be even longer ; knitting, crochet, embroidery, sewing (both machine and by hand), spinning, tablet weaving, nålbinding (I know my brother is planning on giving me a needle and stuff for my birthday so I will learn), leather works, knife making (yes I do know this, only not the metal part of it), chainmail making. I  love crafts, especially old crafts which most of them are. After webs we stopped by Osaka to make a reservation and then we went to the mall. We spent a ton of time in Barns and Nobles, my entire family is crazy like me and loves books. I bought a nice leaterbound journal that will become my travel journal, for those times I do not have access to my computer yet want to write a long rant, and a copy of Sweeny Todd. My mom apperently wants the GiT (Geek in Training, aka target practise aka Sister's child) to grow up as close to bilingual as she can. My mom wants to read english books to her. Guess who is going to be in charge of talking to the child in english? Then we fussed about, and brought shoes. Shoes are very expensive in Norway and since my parents where so amazed at the price I ended up with three pairs, one for everyday, one for fencing and one pair or slightly nicer high heeled ones (because I need to be taller...By the way, for those of you who have seen my family, my mom and brother are the average height for their sexes, see why I say I am short?). Then Osaka, my family have never had Sushi before but they loved it. Sushi is very expensive in Norway for some reason. I mean the dinner we had could easily have been three times more expensive. After Osaka I headed home, talked to Miriam and her mother and chilled, watched Sopranos and talked to Claire.

Todo over break:
Math 153 homework and proof
MTH 204 Homework
ENG 208 speed of dark
at least 5 more pieces of chainmail for conbust
Plan game (yes there will be dragons, tons of them)
Plan panels
sew
knit
show family around